I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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