porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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