Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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