it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
