try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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