But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
