so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
