and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
someone owes me an orgasm
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
