awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
