he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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