Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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