thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
