How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
