OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
ugly people sure do ruin things
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
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