dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
