i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize