I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
