i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I see more hoeing in ur future
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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