Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
