There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Randomize
