Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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