Having a random hookup so left but love u
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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