We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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