My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
