I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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