I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
