plz talk dirty to me
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
