3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
