I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
