i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
