honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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