I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
