Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
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