Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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