I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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