i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
