is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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