i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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