absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Randomize
