Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
