Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
