WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Randomize
