In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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