I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
ugly people sure do ruin things
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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