I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I believe in your delicious
Randomize