we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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