I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
