We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
