He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
