theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
