Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
