My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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