What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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