Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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