Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize