apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
