You're earring is so big in my mouth
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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